You Are My Brother
by RaspberryGirl
Summary: Ken looks back on memories after Osamu's death...kinda sad...T_T


You Are My Brother

*Disclaimer: Digimon, Ken and Osamu don't belong to me. If they did, I'd be a millionaire by now! But right now, I'm a poor girl. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to pick on the poor and needy!? Digimon belongs to Bandai, FoxKids, etc…you get the point. It's owned by those big rich companies.

****

You Are My Brother

By: Ken's Gal

Ken's body felt numb. His feelings, emotions were dulled to a point that he felt as if he were being frozen alive. His whole world had been shattered a few days ago…when it happened. 

When Osamu died. 

He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He was barely tall enough to reach the counter. He strained with all his might so that he could see his face in the glass. A pale, tear-streaked face. With the same blue-black hair, the same blue eyes. 

Yet nothing was the same anymore. 

Here he was, hiding in the church's bathroom, dressed in black for the funeral, hiding from reality. Ken didn't want to go out and face all the noise and confusion. He didn't want to face all those adults who would surely pat him on the head and say how sorry they were without really, _really_, feeling the pain. 

Ken looked at his reflection again. He looked so much like Osamu. Maybe if he imagined hard enough, his reflection would turn into Osamu and his brother would be alive and well again. He closed his eyes, trying to think about Osamu, alive and happy. But against his will, his memories returned to that fateful day. 

__

The car hit Osamu and the boy was flung backward into the air. He skidded to a stop in the middle of the road as his body hit the ground. 

"No!" Ken plunged out from his memories and he was once again in the church bathroom. This time he felt guilt. He didn't really mean it at those times when he had wished that Osamu would disappear. He had been jealous then, and jealousy makes people do things they regret later. But Ken still felt partially responsible. 

"I…didn't mean it," Ken whispered. He was inside his memories once more… 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a lovely spring day. The sun shone down on the earth with its warmth and the sky seemed bluer than usual. In fact, everything seemed better than usual. The clouds seemed whiter and fluffier, the wind soft and cooling. Because of the exceptional weather, the Ichijouji family had decided to go on a picnic by the lake. Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji were sitting on a red and white picnic blanket on the grass, busy setting up the food. Ken and Osamu were playing in the water. 

"Sam, look!" Ken said as he pointed to something in the middle of the lake. "It's a bird!" 

"A duck," Osamu corrected. 

"I want to see the duck!" Ken cried and strode towards it. 

"Ken, no!' Osamu cried, but it was too late. 

Ken lost his footing in the slippery rocks and fell under the water. Osamu immediately dived under, grabbed his little brother and then surfaced both of them sucking in greedy amounts of the fresh air. 

"Oh! Sam! Ken!" Mrs. Ichijouji ran towards them. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Osamu said. "Ken slipped and fell in the water, but he's okay now."

"Sam, you saved Ken! You're such a brave boy," Mrs. Ichijouji praised. "And Ken, honey, are you okay?" 

__

Sam saved me, but I wished he would disappear…

~~~~~~~~~~

The sky was dark, and outside it was pouring sheets of rain and the sky was filled with thunder and lightning. Osamu and Ken were in the Ichijouji's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji were out. 

Ken's face was pressed flat on the glass of the door leading to the balcony. Suddenly, a streak of lightning filled the sky. Ken cried out in fright. "Sam, I'm scared!"

"Don't be," Osamu said. "Here, let's do something that'll distract us." 

"Okay, what?" 

"How about we draw?" 

"I'm not good at drawing. But you are. You're good at everything…" Ken said wistfully. 

"Let's play video games then," Osamu said, ignoring Ken's comment. "Wouldn't you like that? I know you love to play video games." 

"Okay...but I'm not really good at that either." 

Sam played video games with Ken the entire afternoon. He also taught Ken some of the tricks to the game. Ken made it to level three, the farthest he had gotten yet in any of his games.

"Hey, Ken, look!" Osamu pointed to the window. 

"The rain," Ken said, "it's all gone. The darkness too. And…wow! There's a rainbow!"

"See? You didn't need to be afraid," Osamu said, smiling. "See how time flies when you're having fun?" 

__

Sam played with me, but I wished he would disappear…

~~~~~~~~~~

It was an autumn day and Ken and Osamu were in their room. Suddenly, something fell out of Osamu's computer. 

"Wow, what is it?" Ken asked. 

"I don't know," Osamu said. "But don't touch it until I look at it later." With that, he put the thing in his drawer and left the room. 

Yet, Ken couldn't help himself. He pulled open the drawer and took out the thing…the device. The things that had happened next had become blurry. He remembered being sucked into the computer…and then doing stuff…in the other world…and meeting a…a…_Digimon. _But then, he had been transported back into his room. 

And Osamu had entered the room. And saw the device in Ken's hands. 

His actions, his words turned harsh. "I told you not to touch it!" Osamu yelled. He struck Ken's hands and the device fell from the little boy's grasp. 

Ken was frightened, his brother had never been like this…"I'm sorry," Ken whispered.

"It could have been dangerous and something could have happened to you," Osamu said. "If something had happened to you, Mom and Dad would have blamed me." 

Was that true? Did Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji really, truly, value _him_ more than Sam? Ken doubted that. He did nothing and Sam did everything. 

"You broke my trust, Ken," Osamu continued. 

"I said I'm sorry," Ken said in a quiet voice. 

"Now I can't trust you to touch that thing ever again!" 

__

I know you didn't mean it Sam, like I know when I didn't mean it when I wished you would disappear…you were never so cruel. I think I understand now. You were worried about my safety, weren't you? That's why you kept the 'digivice' from me, isn't it…?

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a hot, summer morning. Osamu and Ken were in front of their apartment complex. Osamu was going over to one of his friend's house.

"I want to come too!" Ken shouted, running after the older boys. 

"You're too young!" Osamu called back. "Maybe when you're older!"

"But…Sam…!" Ken protested. 

One of Osamu's friends laughed. "Tell the little twerp to go home!"

Sam glared at his friend. "He's not a twerp, he's my little brother!" he said, advancing on the other boy. 

The friend took a step back. "Okay, okay!" 

A cry sounded behind him. Ken was sprawled on the cement. Osamu started back towards him. 

"Hey, Osamu, you're gonna make us miss the special movie marathon!" Another one of Osamu's friends called. 

"You guys go on ahead!" Osamu shouted. "I'll meet you at Tiro's house later!"

His friends shrugged and began walking away. 

"Why would he want to stay behind with that little squirt?" One of Osamu's friends asked another.

"Beats me." The other friend shrugged. 

"Hey, you okay, _Ken_?" Osamu asked as he knelt by Ken.

Ken looked up with teary eyes. "I…I…fell…and…"

Osamu examined Ken. "Just a few scratches on your knee and elbow. And chin. No big deal. Here." He reached into one of his pockets and took out a bag. "I always bring a First Aid kit." He took out 3 bandages and put them on Ken's injuries. "Better?" 

Ken nodded. 

"Okay. You'd better go home and have Mom look at those cuts. You wouldn't want them getting infected. And besides, I don't think you really want to hang around with me and my friends. They…aren't very nice to little kids." Osamu stood up and ruffled Ken's hair. "See ya, later, little bro." With that, he jogged off. 

As he went off, Ken had whispered, "You're the greatest, Sam." 

__

Sam stayed behind for me and took care of my cuts, but I wished he would disappear…

~~~~~~~~~~

Osamu and Ken were on the balcony blowing bubbles. Ken always blew the largest ones. 

"Why are my bubbles bigger than yours?" Ken asked. "You're the best at everything…"

"Your bubbles are bigger because you blow them gently…" Sam had answered and had said nothing else. 

~~~~~~~~~~

__

Sam would always take time and blow bubbles with me, but I wished he would disappear…

…And now, it's come true. 

Why!?

If I am as gentle and kind as Sam said, why did I wish he would disappear? 

Why!?

A new wave of tears coursed down Ken's cheeks. The question kept on echoing in his mind. 

__

Why!? 

He squeezed his eyes shut and shouted with all his strength in his mind, _God, if you can hear me! If there is a God, make Sam well again! You know I didn't mean what I said! Don't make my parents sad anymore…Don't make _me_ sad anymore…Please…_

"Ah…there you are, Ken," said a voice. It was a familiar voice, yet somehow alien now. "Ken, you have to come outside." Mr. Ichijouji slowly strode over to where Ken was and lifted him up in his arms. 

Ken had remained motionless and let his father lift him up like a sack of corn. He didn't want to go with his father. He wanted to hide in this bathroom forever, where it would only be him and the mirror. He didn't want to go outside. He buried his head in his father's shoulders and covered his ears as they left the tranquillity of the church bathroom. 

__

I was jealous. Jealous of Mom and Dad's love for Sam…but now that he's gone, what have I _gained? Mom and Dad are so overcome by grief that they notice me even less. Things are worse now that Sam is gone! Sam, where are you! Sam, answer me! COME BACK!_

Mr. Ichijouji put Ken down between him and his wife. All three were standing behind Osamu's coffin. Ken tried not to look at the body, but couldn't help himself. He almost cried out in terror and despair when he did. Sam was lying there…yet it wasn't Sam at all. His face, which had once been filled with joy, laughter, anger, sadness…was now blank, free from all expression. And it was deathly pale, with his mouth in a thin line. Osamu's glasses were gone, which made him look less like the Sam Ken knew. 

Ken hardly noticed the mourners going up to the coffin to bid Osamu their last farewells. He hardly noticed the funny man staring at him. Some of the mourners were crying, some soft, some loud. Yet, Ken refused to cry. He didn't want to seem like a little kid bawling in front of his parents and the people here. 

Because he wasn't a little kid anymore. 

A part of him had grown up. He wanted to seem brave and strong now; he had already shed his share of tears in the bathroom. And let those others think he was strange, that he was rude. 

He didn't care. 

"Sam," Ken whispered. "If you can hear me up there…"

__

I will always remember, love, and cherish you. No matter what happens, and what I do, and where I go…because…

You are my brother. 

Author's Note: This is such a sad little short story about my sweet little Ken…*sob* Anyway, (now back to old self) please review! Just to let you know, this is also the story that I entered for TK Takaishi's fan fic contest! ^_^ Some of the scenes about Ken and Osamu's past I got from the English T.V. series. You know, like the digivice scene. My memory is a little bad, so the scene in my story might not match the one on TV exactly. ^_^ Same with the bubble scene as well. (But who really cares?) The rest of the scenes, I made up. All in all, I thought this story was easy to write… 


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